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Things not to Say
When Hanging the Lights
Did you know that hanging
lights on a Christmas tree is one of the three most stressful
situations in an on-going relationship?
Psychiatrist's claim the other two danger zones
are teaching your mate to drive and wallpapering. And
since they are rarely wrong on these things. I rushed to send
you an emergency prompt list of :
Things Not To Say When Hanging Lights on
the Christmas Tree.
"You've got
two red lights right next to each other, dummy. You're
supposed to go yellow, green, red, blue, not yellow, red, red,
green, blue..."
"Up a little higher. You can
reach it. Go on, try."
"What the heck do you do
to these lights when you put them away every year? Tie them in
knot?"
"Come away from that aluminum ladder,
kids. I'm going to fry that sucker."
"If you're
not going to do it right, don't do it at all. Don't just throw
them on, like you do the icicles. You're worse than your
father."
"Give me that!"
"You've got
the whole thing on the tree upside-down. The electric pluggee
thing should be down here at the bottom, not up at the
top."
"I don't care if you have found another two
strings, I'm done!"
"You've just wound 'em around
and around - I thought we agreed it shouldn't look like a
spiral this year?"
"Have you been
drinking?"
"Where's the
cat?"
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